I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
