yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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