Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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