Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Everyone says I win the strip club
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
