What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
