this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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