Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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