I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
