The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just cropdusted the office
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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