so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
