Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
