I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
