It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
