i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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