it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know her cup size but not her name....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
