So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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