btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
