So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
