at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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