why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
