Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
