I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
