How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
