"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
