a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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