walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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