one two three fourrrrnication!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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