first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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