Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
