How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
