Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Still dying that you shit outside
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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