He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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