I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
