were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
