so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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