Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
