In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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