he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
