If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize