Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
