she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
