Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize