I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize