Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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