A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
