i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize