My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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