I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
