Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i will never coherently bang her
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize