You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
