Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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