Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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