but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
