Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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