it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
