at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
