Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
