Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
