and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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