But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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