Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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