Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
