You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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