i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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