I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
