we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
