I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
