I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
