I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
